Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life with Garrain Jones – EP 41

Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life with Garrain Jones

Today, I’m speaking to Garrain Jones! For over 2 years, Garrain lived out of his car and was over $300,000 in debt. If life wasn’t miserable enough, he then spent 2 ½ years in prison for selling heroin. But through these challenges, and many other tragic events surrounding his life, Garrain found his purpose and was able to completely change the trajectory of his life. 

Today, he’s a transformation coach, business coach, speaker, author, health and wellness advocate, and serial entrepreneur who has motivated and inspired thousands of people around the world. 

He is living proof that your circumstances can change, IF you’re willing to change the way you think. 

In his bestselling book, Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life: Lessons of Love, Leadership and Transformation he shares his proven process for removing lifelong struggles (starting from within), and gives you the tools to attract prosperity and passion in all areas of your life.

In our conversation, you’ll get to hear his powerful story and how he overcame seemingly insurmountable obstacles. We also talk about the power of mindset, how he turned his life-long pain and struggle into passion, and why anyone (regardless of their current circumstances) has the power to live a happy and abundant life!

Key Takeaways with Garrain Jones

• Proof that anyone can shift their mindset and find their super power. 
• Hear Garrain’s story, from multiple suicide attempts and being $300K in debt, to living a life that’s surpassed his wildest dreams.
• Why a message can come from anyone and has the power to completely change your life — IF you’re ready and willing to listen. 
• Why Garrain initially blamed himself for his father’s murder — and the moment he discovered the source for all his pain and suffering. 
• Turning a 2.5 year prison sentence into the most powerful years of his life. 
• The importance of surrounding yourself with people who play at a higher level than you. 
• Find out how Garrain discovered the truest version of success and turned a foundation of good health into something that positively impacted every other area of his life.
• How Garrain has become the voice for the voiceless and is showing them how to find freedom in their own life.

From 6-figures in Debt, To Millionaire Entrepreneur

Garrain Jones Tweetable

Resources

• GarrainJones.com
• Garrain Jones on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube
• Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life: Lessons of Love, Leadership and Transformation
• The Power of Positive Thinking
• Think and Grow Rich

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Read the Full Transcript with Garrain Jones

Justin Donald: All right. What’s up, Garrain? How are you doing?

Garrain Jones: I am so fabulous. Fresh off of a flight all the way from Austin to Houston.

Justin Donald: That’s a nice short flight. I got to tell you, I’m thrilled to be hanging out. And it’s just so fun having you on the show because I think that my audience has no clue what is about to happen and this incredible story that they’re going to learn and the unbelievable amount of energy and passion that you exude on a daily basis. And so, I just got to say I’m excited hanging out with you. I feel inspired and energized. I just think you’re an incredible human being. And so, I’m just so excited to be able to spend some time with you today.

Garrain Jones: Well, damn. Thank you so much for that amazing intro. I also feel the same in a more quiet and calm. You have a quiet and calm force about yourself and I always feel safe when I’m in your presence.

Justin Donald: Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I received that. You know, we have a bunch of mutual friends and so it’s really funny how we connected because we have, I don’t know, we probably have 20, 30, 40 people in common together and we’re hanging out in the same workout crew, the Wednesday workout crew, this killer boot camp that I’ve talked about on my show already at Cal’s place at the bunker. And, man, we have just had some really magic moments as a team, as a crew. And it’s so funny because you and I, we just hung out. We connected. You didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know who you were but we had kind of heard of each other. And it’s funny to see everything full circle and the friendship that we’ve been able to forge through it. So, I’d love to hear your thoughts and the way that you kind of experienced us meeting and getting to know one another.

Garrain Jones: Well, my first experience with you is you came to me and, man, like I felt really good because I closed the workouts with like this post motivation talk and you came up to me. I didn’t know what your name was and I didn’t know anything about you. I just know there’s a bunch of really dope people at the workout and you’re like, man, it really made an impact. I remember when people say because this is my work in the world. So, all of a sudden, my wife, she brings this book home called Lifestyle Investor and I’m like, man, I’m thinking about like numbers and all kinds of things, just like my brain’s going to shut down. I pay people to do that for me. So, I didn’t read the book but that was a book called Lifestyle Investor, the Lifestyle Investor sitting in the closet, and then I probably heard the name Justin Donald: maybe four or five times and then I had a meeting with Cal, our good friend Cal. He was like, “Man, you should read this book.” I was like, “Man, this is the sixth time that this book has come across.” Then I went on Instagram and I looked up Justin Donald:, it was you. And I’m like, “That’s Justin? I see him every single Wednesday and I had no idea.” So, it was almost like the universe was like, “No, I want you guys to be in each other’s lives so that you can amplify and I’m just going to throw a surprise in there. I’m going to make you all know each other before you all know each other, and then it’s going to be even better.”

Justin Donald: That’s cool. Yeah. And it was so fun because you really have this way about you, where you’re able to harness this energy and you’re able to share words in a way that truly motivate and inspire and rally people. And so, at the end of each of these workouts, I look forward to what you’re going to share, and I’m pretty confident none of it’s planned. It’s just whatever comes out. You’re just so free flow. But people get goosebumps and chills and you can see it. And then our group gets real rowdy at the end and you do a good job of really like climaxing the energy that this very masculine group possesses. And it’s so fun. And so, I just want to thank you for that gift and for what you do with the group and who you are and how you show up and your authenticity because it is palpable and it’s just so fun.

Garrain Jones: Thank you so much. You know, I was diagnosed with special needs and special education, and I was in special ed classes learning disability. I had a speaking impediment and I used to call myself really stupid because everything was slower for me, everything. What would normally take you four days to learn would take me four months. So, I literally just and still right now, when I take on new things, it’s a little bit slower but I turned it into a superhero power. This is going to go right into even what happens in the workouts. So, when people look at a lot of information at them, there are some people that are like really logical thinkers. They can process and break it down. I bypass so much because the processing speed in which my brain operates because of what I was, I guess, diagnosed with when I was little, allows me to be efficient with my energy and efficient with the information that is coming in so I can take a large quantity of information and digest it in a very simple and relatable way. At least that’s the story that I’m now telling myself that it wasn’t special needs. I had a special talent for being efficient with my time, being efficient with my energy, and breaking down these complex things. And so, I break down the workout. And so, that’s what you see me do. I literally rev it all the way up. The clapping is me revving up everything that I experienced and what I put out is just a process in which my brain has digested the experience of everyone.

Justin Donald: I love it. I mean, people can hear us from blocks away. I mean, it is just awesome. It’s just this when everyone’s in unison, when everyone’s chanting and hollering, I mean, it’s just so fun. But you said something really important that I want to capture. I want to make sure that we don’t just gloss over this. You took what could have been your kryptonite and maybe even for a period of time was your kryptonite and you turned it into a superpower. And I believe that everyone has gifts, everyone has unique gifts, and everyone’s on their own journey, their own special journey. And a lot of people like they maybe don’t even realize that there is a journey out there that they’re already on it, that they’ve already embarked. But what I love about what you just said is you made a huge mindset shift. You basically said, “Instead of like this disempowering belief that’s going to limit me, let me transition that. Let me make it an empowering belief and why don’t I use this for or as a force for good?” And I think that’s so cool. And really, when you learn your story and I’m excited to get into that here today, when you learn your story, you understand that your life is exactly that. Your life has been you starting out with maybe your own mental handicaps, what people gave you, what you gave yourself, what you allowed in, to the point that was a breaking point where you’re like, “No more,” and you literally just turned around. Nothing changed except your mindset. In fact, in your home, and you have a gorgeous home, an unbelievable house for hosting and entertaining, and just community and gathering but you’ve got this really cool picture that talks about mindset. And it’s even you really have to look at it because it doesn’t read properly because it’s all about how you have to change your mindset to have this next level, this next experience of life. And I’d love to hear some of your thoughts there and even starting out in your youth what that looked like for you.

Garrain Jones: So, energy cannot be created nor destroyed. It can only be transferred. I’ve always been passionate and I’ve always been driven, and then I just never knew where to put the energy. I didn’t grow up in a household where people taught me about money, people taught me about business. All I ever heard was, “We can’t afford it. We can’t afford it. We can’t afford it. Why do you have to do that? Why do you have to look like that?” So, it was all this negative going on and there’s a distinction that I really want to share with people. I got told that I was hard-headed because I didn’t do what and my mother didn’t know any better but she was trying to get me to think like her. And so, it’s just like, “So, why do you have to be so hard-headed?” And what I realized is hard-headed was me actually fighting for my own sovereignty and freedom when I was a little kid. I had no idea. So, I was the bad kid. I was the hard-headed kid. I was the kid that got in trouble all the time, the mischievous one, the one who graduated third from the bottom in his high school because he didn’t want to effing try and third from the bottom in a class of 1,500 students in my class of ’98. And I would say years just went by and I was like, “Man, there’s got to be a way.” There’s got to be a reason that these people that are less talented than me, they’re winning at life. They’re flying across the world. They’re making all this money. They’re becoming entrepreneurs. They’re retiring their parents. And here I am with all of this talent and ego and self-hatred and bad health.

There were so many things that I even realize that I could create and author my life. So, I would always say, “Can it get any worse?” And my life kept getting worse and worse and worse, and then it hit a point where I hit rock bottom. I’d say in 2009 to 2011, I was living in my car. My girlfriend had just broken up with me because I couldn’t take care of myself. My mom was dying in the hospital. Everybody in my family was overweight, slightly over $200,000 in debt because I hadn’t paid taxes for the last seven years. Actually, the last ten. They can only get you for seven. And my daughter pretty much disowned me because I didn’t even know how to love myself. And then it was August 2011 at 3:43 in the morning. I try to take my life twice that week. I even failed at that. And then I reached my breaking point and I just said, “Okay. I’m tired of fighting. I don’t want to fight anymore. I want to be healthy. I want to be happy. I want to be surrounded by nothing but positive people. I just want to inspire people. And I want to make a bunch of money but I want the money to represent something that I passionately believe in that I would do for free. Just show me a sign.” And to wrap it up, a week later I’m at the gas station with my last $2 and a homeless guy walks up to me and asked me for money and I said, “You have more money than me.” And he said, “Change your mindset. Change your life.” It wasn’t the words. It was the energy behind the words that stopped me in my tracks and probably for the first time in my life made me think, “Wait a second.”

So, if my mind is set on something, that’s why the result is what it is. So, if I do different with the same circumstance in my life, then my life will change? Well, it’s been almost 10 years to the day. November will be 10. I mean, August will be 10 years, almost 10 years. And every day I find something where I have resistance probably in areas of my life where I’m not happy or I’m dissatisfied or something’s not moving the way I want to. And if I don’t want to do it, I say, “Change your mindset. Change your life,” and I do the opposite. So, 10 years of being far removed from the habitual patterns that I was stuck in had me reading books, going to seminars, getting healthy, staying in instead of going to nightclubs, stop chasing women, and chasing a better version of myself. And on the other side of everything I would never do came to life that I always wanted that has surpassed my wildest dreams.

Justin Donald: That’s incredible, Garrain. And what’s so cool about it is, I mean, first of all, the mindset shift came from the most unassuming person, right?

Garrain Jones: It has.

Justin Donald: I mean, that is huge that you were willing to instead of taking what they said and saying, “Well, why am I going to listen to you? Look at your situation,” you actually recognize that there were truth in those words. And even though it wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen overnight, the mindset shift happened overnight but the behavior, the actions that formed from it were going to be one small step each day. And then it just adds up. And it’s cool to see who you’ve become today and you are incredibly successful. We’ll get into that. I mean, you have done amazing things in the world. And to me, what’s more important than being successful, however you define it, whether it’s financially, whether it’s physically healthy, emotionally, spiritually. To me, it’s what’s the impact that you have on people, what are the quality of your relationships like. And I know that you excel in that department because I know so many raving fans of Garrain Jones:, but there is even more adversity that I want to discuss. And so, one other thing about mindset. I talk about this a lot in my book. It’s the beginning of my book. I set the foundation for everything that I go through in my Ten Commandments and it’s all about having the right mindset. It’s all about changing the mindset. The way people are doing things right now is going to yield the result that they’ve been getting. So, you have to change the behavior but it’s hard to change the behavior unless you’ve shifted your mindset. Now, you had other adversity in your life. I’d love for you to share just whatever you feel comfortable with your dad. I mean, I think this had an impact on you, a tremendous, a profound impact. And I want to capture that today to kind of set the stage for really like the rebirth that you had.

Garrain Jones: Yes. And before we get into that, there’s one little context I wanted to share at the last thing that you said that I would even listen to a homeless guy. But here’s what I noticed, that a message can come from anywhere and life, in order to get my attention, had to strip me away from all the things that I gave power to on the outside of me so that I would be in a surrendered state, in a state of humility, to actually receive the message. So, sometimes it’s like, “Why is this? I’m on lockdown.” Well, maybe these things are actually happening to strip away all the things that you’ve given the power to so that you can remember that the power belongs with you. So, I wanted to share that because it’s a major context because people say, “Well, I don’t listen to people whose lives I wouldn’t trade places with.” Well, they might have something for you in an area that you’ve chosen not to look because you have already written them off. Maybe they have relationships with their children and you’ve got all the money but you have no relationship with your family. Maybe they might be wealthy in that area and you could actually learn.

Justin Donald: Yeah. Amen.

Garrain Jones: I wanted to share that context so people aren’t so quick to just write people off really fast just because they don’t have a certain dollar amount.

Justin Donald: That’s right. Because, again, it goes back to the premise of everyone having gifts, everyone having unique talents and abilities and expertise in something. And we all cannot be experts in everything. So, it’s important to bring people in our lives that can shape us and come alongside us to help us and assist us in accomplishing what we desire to accomplish. But the funny thing is you have to have clarity first. A lot of people just walk through life on autopilot and it’s just responding or reacting versus actually proactively planning and setting intention and writing down what it is that you want to accomplish. And unless you’re doing that, you’re actually not going to be moving forward and towards this compelling and exciting life.

Garrain Jones: Yeah. Absolutely, man. Thank you and thank you for prefacing that. And now I want to jump forward to the question that you asked about my dad. So, a lot of people know that my father was murdered and he also did drugs. He was a drug dealer and everything but he was murdered when I was 12 years old. But I didn’t learn until recently like there were certain things like sometimes I would – and I’m going to name a few characteristics of things that I dealt with like I always pack last minute. I never understood why I would pack last minute, which also had to do with certain levels of procrastination. I also never had relationships with men in my life and I built successful businesses and all of them were 90% women literally my entire life. And there’s a certain level of what my wife was requiring and asking of me in a level of responsibility where I just never really showed up because I was so spontaneous, so go with the flow. She was like, “I need my king,” but I didn’t understand what she was saying. So,  I was in a deep meditation and in that meditation before I went in, my intention is to discover what is in the way of me experiencing my fullest expression. And when I dropped in, all of a sudden I had this instant memory of me being four years old and my mom literally saying, “Pick which parent you want to go with.” And I remember because my parents were separating, I said, “I don’t want to choose,” and she was like, “You got 30 minutes.” And so, guess what I did? I stalled and I stalled and I stalled and I remember saying, “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go.” And while I was in the meditation, I jumped. I was like, “Oh, my God. That’s where the procrastination comes from,” because I’ve been trapped inside of a four-year-old who was forced with the weighty decision of saying  I’m picking my mom. I originally chose my dad.

But what I now know is my intuition said, “Go with your mom. Go with your mom,” and then I went with my mom, and then all of a sudden I made my dad stop. I went with my mom. Eight years later, my father was murdered, and guess who I blamed? Myself. And when my dad died, man died. So,  when man died, half of me, I never gave energy so the responsibility, the integrity, there are so many things from the masculine energy that died. But then also when I chose mom, I chose feminine instead of choosing masculine. So, there was so much wrapped up inside of there. And since I had the awareness as far as like intentionally being on time, procrastination, my relationships with men, they literally have opened up in my life in a way where I’m so aware and so on point unless my plane is late or something like that. But that awareness opened me up to me receiving the fullness of me. Because when I said man died, I also did not acknowledge half of me. And to truly be whole, you must acknowledge the masculine and the feminine inside of you so that you can bring your full self to people. And so, this is the latest growth spurt when it came to me and understanding how to truly embody my full self and present my full self to the world.

Justin Donald: Well, that is a powerful story and realization and what clarity that provides. I’ve got to tell you, I can’t even imagine going through what you went through. I mean, your youth, your childhood like that is heavy. That is so incredibly difficult to manage through emotions when as a young person, you don’t even know how to do that. It’s hard enough when you’re an adult. So, I can’t even imagine what that was like to have to pick a parent. And I know a lot of people have experienced that. I feel blessed that I did not but the weight of that is tremendous. But for you to figure out patterns that are showing up in your life because of that, to be able to free yourself of that, I think is incredible. I also can’t imagine what it would be like to lose my father at such a young age and to lose him to something just so tragic and to be able to see what life choices kind of brought. There’s power in recognizing that situation but at the same time, there’s I feel like more pattern replication than anything. So, you may not have wanted to go down that path intellectually. You may have thought this is not what I want to do. I want to go with my mom. I recognize that my dad maybe isn’t on the greatest track in life but the influence of a father is so powerful and just that example pulled you into a direction young in your life where you followed in some of the same footsteps, right?

Garrain Jones: Absolutely. I followed in some of the same footsteps. And though I never did drugs, I sold it, and I became a drug runner. And I was going from country to country, UK to Amsterdam, France to Rotterdam, and I ended up getting caught. And when I got caught, it was 6.2 kilos of heroin, and I was supposed to serve 12 years in a French prison. I ended up getting out in two-and-a-half years and there’s good behavior and then the drugs ended up majorly being fake so they ended up letting me out for the time that I had already served. It was in there that I started my reading these self-help books but I didn’t know what I was reading and you can’t change what you’re not aware of but something was changing. I just didn’t know what was happening. So, here I am in prison, not supposed to get out. I was in there from 2002 to 2005. I wasn’t supposed to get out until 2012. So, just imagine 2014, sorry, so here I am reading this book called The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. I read that book over and over and over and over. I was reading Think and Grow Rich and I was learning. I stopped using my right hand, which is my dominant hand, and I started using my non-dominant hand, which I didn’t even realize was exercising a different part of my brain. And so, I started to become somebody and in losing my freedom, I discovered my freedom inside of a prison so far away.

And there was a time where we were watching a movie, it’s called Shawshank Redemption, and Tim Robbins said, “They can take anything they want away from me but they can’t take away my mind.” And in that moment I had the biggest epiphany while in prison far away. I’m like, “I know why I’m in prison.” Because when I was free, I used to say, “I’m so far away from where I’m supposed to be. I feel like I’m in jail inside of my own body,” to the point where I manifested being in prison in France so far away from where I’m supposed to be in prison. So, I said, “If I can put myself in prison with my mind, well, then, in that case, I’m free right now. So, what can I do inside here that I never would do outside of there?” I started doing everything, singing, drawing, motivating people. I started learning languages, building, creating, and really activating. I call it my inner child, doing all the stuff I used to love to do when I was a kid. And these people would come to me and say, “Thank you so much for drawing. You want anything?” I was like, “Nah, I just want you to be happy.” The people used to run around in this little circle, they call it the yard in America, but it’s called promenade in France. And they run around. There’d be fights, there’d be drug deals, there’d be stabbings. I mean, they’d walk around. Within 30 days, the majority of those inmates were running with me. And so, I inspired inside of a frickin prison. Well, I realized now what value was because my value was too big for the container that it was in, and in that moment where I felt the most free, that’s when they said, “Hey, the drugs that we tested three times which was 6.2 kilos of heroin, the drugs that we tested three times just happened to be fake.”

Justin Donald: Wow.

Garrain Jones: “So, for the amount of time that you’ve already been here, that was the 5% that was real. You’re free to go home.”

Justin Donald: Wow. I mean, talk about a life-changing moment. But I’ve got to tell you, Garrain, you are truly one of the most incredible people that I know. Your ability to like mentally be in a place that is different than where you are physically in prison and the way that you freed yourself and the way that you took ownership of your life and your destiny and your education and your spirit, how you were able to just enflame this spirit about you to be a light to other people is just incredible. I mean, that is inspiring. And I just want to thank you for sharing. I mean, you are authentically real. I mean, we know we are getting the real deal with you.

Garrain Jones: Thank you so much. I appreciate that.

Justin Donald: I mean, your story is like this is movie quality. Like, it’s rags to riches but in a much more remarkable way because it was a mindset that was limiting you. It was a pattern that you just followed, that you observed, and a lot of it is you being on autopilot. It’s life happening to you. You’re just kind of going along. And whether you make decisions intentionally or not, you are making decisions like everyone is. You may not realize it by not taking ownership or intentionality or really kind of spearheading what you want. You’re allowing decisions to happen to you. But the decision to not do anything is still a decision that’s going to pave a path. But it’s incredible how your path changed dramatically when you got intentional. And I just love that.

Garrain Jones: I didn’t even know that, though. I had no idea. So, even when it would happen, if you notice these stories, the stuff, these magical things that happened then it would fall, then the magical things that happen would fall. Because during that time, I didn’t know that I was actually able to create that energy and that frequency going out so that I could attract all these things. So, I was like, “Oh, I’m so lucky.” So, I prayed and I’m just so lucky. And then I would let it get into my head and then the ego would sit in. You’re like, “You’re great. You’re great.” And I’m like, “I’m great.” I had no idea. So, it wasn’t until 2011 then I went to my very first free success seminar. It was free and I invited people and they didn’t come and so I went. And then the guy on the stage, his mentor, he’s just like, “I follow Jim Rohn and he said whenever you find a good book, keep reading it and you just keep master a book and you master it. Don’t read it for memory. Read it for mastery.” I’m like, “Oh, that’s why.” I’ll read something and then by nature, I start applying what I read and then I stop reading the book and just like, what is it, a garden with weeds starting to take over the garden. The weeds of your past start taking over your mind if you’re not constantly growing and like moving forward and progressing in life. So, during that time, it wasn’t until 2011 where, oh, the upward trajectory happened but then it kept going because I kept reading and surrounded myself around new groups that could take me even higher and even higher and even higher. When I outgrew a group, I didn’t stay around them. I’m like, “Yo, I’m dipping in but I got to find a new core group of people because I can’t be the highest in the pod.”

Justin Donald: I love that. I love that recognition that you can’t be the highest in the pod, as you said. I was talking with someone yesterday in our mastermind and I talked about how I think it’s incredible to be the smallest fish in a big pond of very large fish that you can learn from that can constantly like share value and you’re just learning and growing. I find that it’s stifling when you are the smartest or sharpest or most successful person, however you define success in the friend group or the peer group that you hang with. And I think it’s so important to be intentional to find people that play the game of life at a higher level. And when I say the game of life, it could be business. It could be parenting. It could be marriage. It could be health. It could be whatever it is like who’s playing that game of life, that aspect of life in a better way, in a healthier way, in a stronger way, and then spend time constantly with people that are going to pull you up to their level. And that’s one of the things I love about the group that we’re in from a business standpoint. We’ve got Olympians, we’ve got an Olympian, a freakin decathlon Olympian in our group. Tray, what a stud. You know, it’s like he’s bringing us up to his level and it’s that in all areas of life and really, I believe, by God’s grace, you were able to get out of jail early, have fake drugs. I mean, goodness sakes, I wouldn’t consider that just dumb luck. You know, I think there’s more to the story than that because…

Garrain Jones: Oh, there’s more to the story.

Justin Donald: Yeah. There’s a purpose that you got out early and the impact that you’ve had. But I’d love to talk about kind of that transformation to who you are today, that next chapter professionally and personally, who you grew into because today you have one of the largest followings of anyone I know. People love you. They adore you. They’re not just friends. They’re raving fans. These are like Garrain for life people. And I would love, and by the way, everyone can feel your energy already. So, what you’re feeling is real. It’s just how Garrain shows up but talk us through that next phase of your life.

Garrain Jones: You know, it was so interesting because I got involved with health and wellness and I didn’t realize what being healthy nutrient-wise can actually do for your heart. And so, I don’t come from that. I’ve come from Houston, Texas, where everything was fat, fatty, fried, just baked, everything and it was all good. However, I don’t come from a health-conscious family. So, when I started surrounding myself around healthy active lifestyle people who were talking about goals and who were talking about then losing 35 pounds and shakes and supplements that they’re taking, I was like, “I’ve never heard anything like this before.” So, just by way of proximity, I started doing what they were doing. I dropped 35 pounds, put on 19 pounds of muscle. This is at age 32. I’ll be 42 in July. I put on 19 pounds of muscle and took my body fat from 16.4% down to 6%. And this is when I thought I could never get results ever again because in my head once you hit 30, it’s a wrap. So, when I started getting ripped up like when I was like 19, 20 years old, I’m like, “Oh my goodness, what’s happening?” And people were feeding for that energy. They were like, “What are you doing?” I heard Kanye West one time said, “I wish I could give you this feeling.” Well, guess what, I found a feeling that I could give to people which was my nutrition plan, which was what happens when you actually start loving yourself. Not I want to lose weight so I can get abs. No. I want to lose weight because I want to feel better than I’ve ever felt before in my life. And the byproduct is abs or the byproduct is me taking my waistline from a 36 to a 31. So, because I understood the formula of health and nutrition as it pertains to me, the health affected my heart. My heart, what was going on in my heart affected the way I felt and the words that were coming out of my mouth.

The words that were coming out of my mouth was a direct reflection of what I was doing to myself. But because I was loving myself probably for the first time in my life, well, the results start to be a reflection, a direct reflection of what I was given to myself. And it was the first time in my life where I didn’t feel like I had to overcompensate in a specific area so that I can lie to myself about what I’m not refusing to look at when I look in the mirror and the truth shows up and nobody’s around, which was me. So, I said, “I realize what my version of success is.” I want when before I go to bed at night, I want it to be peaceful. I want it to be calm. I honestly don’t want to have all these frickin bills that are just piling up. I actually want bills that I’m actually happy about and that was my version of success and I was like, “That’s my cheap aim right there. That’s what I’m going for.” Because what I thought was success is somebody with a ton of money. Well, guess what? My best friend put a bullet in his brain and he had all the girls, he had all the money, he had all the cars, he had everything but himself. So, let me rethink this plan of what success is. So, once I had that, that was going to be the foundation that I built from. So, my foundation is living a healthy, active lifestyle where I love all myself and I listen to personal development every day. The foundation of any business that I had ever done, my book, my coaching one-on-one, the retreats that I do, everything comes from the foundation of I have me. And I love myself, so everything that I put my hand on comes with the same energy. It’s an expression of exactly how I feel about myself. That’s where it started with my health and it’s just like ABCs turns into words, turns into sentences, turns into paragraphs. My life evolved around me loving myself and being healthy and me wanting to give that feeling out to everyone I come in contact with.

Justin Donald: And that’s really just fantastic, the way that you kind of came about this realization of what life is like, what it needs to be like, what it should be like. I think about just something as simple as getting into shape. A lot of people do it for the external, looking good, having muscles, what other people will see. I think the reason to do it is internal. So, you feel good about yourself so that you show up in a way where you’re proud because that really like it oozes over beyond just that compartment of your life. It flows into everything. You know, the more confidence, the more strength, the more just self-love that you have. I mean, that shows up in every part of your life. And it’s very clear that you’ve got that going on. I just think it’s powerful. And when you own the most important thing, which is not what other people think, but what you think. That’s when the game changes because you’re satisfied, you’re content with you. And it’s important to find ways to improve and get better. I think we’re all creatures of either growing or dying. We’re either learning more and becoming smarter, faster, stronger, or we’re not, and we’re becoming slower, weaker, more handicapped. So, I think it’s hard to stay stagnant. So, I think we’re leaning in one direction. It’s important to figure out which direction that is and if we can make sure that we harness this self-love, this self-image, have a very strong self-esteem and to instill that in those that are around us and really try to angle to the direction of getting better every day at something. It doesn’t have to be everything. It could literally be a thing then you’re learning. You’re on the path to growth and I just think that that’s life. And especially when you’re doing that with other people, when you’re coming alongside arm-in-arm with other people, and that’s how you’re living life. You’re doing it in a community. Relationships, they just matter so much. And the more that you can have people that embrace that mindset, that embrace the desire to grow and to learn and to never have arrived, I think then you’re going to discover purpose and passion and just this zest and joy for life.

Garrain Jones: Absolutely. I totally agree. That’s how I even got into my work. I didn’t set out to be a coach. I didn’t set out to be an author. You know what I set out to do? I was like, man, I shared my testimony on Facebook and the very first message I got was from someone who said, “I put the gun down. You shared your testimony.” Five messages later, “I didn’t drive my car off a bridge when you shared your testimony,” and in that moment I was like, “I know my role. My purpose is to be the voice of the voiceless and show people what freedom looks like by way of example so that they can discover that within themselves,” and whatever that looks like and all I did is I just kept sharing my stories and I kept getting that. I never show people the DMs. The DMs I’ve got, you can take some of your most A-list celebrities that have reached out to me and one was like, “I’m going through the same thing and I don’t know how to escape.” So, I had the highest of the highest and the lowest of the lowest reach out to me, reach out to me for coaching or some kind of transformation or retreat, and then all of a sudden I was like, “God, send me a sign.” Thousands of people say, “You should write a book. You should write a book. Oh, my God. Send me a sign. You should write.” I’m like, “Oh, maybe I should listen to the people.” So, I put my experiences and the lessons that I extracted from them in a very simple, easy-to-read book called Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life. Thank you, homeless guy, for the name of my business and my title and my number one in three different categories best-selling book, Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life, but that’s it. So, I took my life…

Justin Donald: I got it right here, your book.

Garrain Jones: And gave it to the world and opportunities to share my life and the lessons that I’ve learned have showed up on podcasts, have showed up on TV shows, have showed up on little hints in movies and things like that. And I’m like we’re just getting started. And I’m only here to remind people is that your story frickin matters but if you don’t tell it, no one will ever know.

Justin Donald: That’s right. I mean, I got your book right here and there is so much wisdom in these pages besides the cool art on the front, which is really fun. But I mean, you are like this walking and talking guy that is literally exuding emotions and just you wear your emotions on your sleeve in a way that is so refreshing. People know where they stand with you and you’re just so real. And one of the things, the reason that it’s easy for you to have this magnetic pull of people to you is because you’re vulnerable because you choose to let people in and share the real story and not put up a facade and people resonate with that. And so, you attract this authenticity, these authentic relationships into your life because you let your guard down and you give other people permission to do that same thing. And that, to me, is the reason that you’ve had so much success, I mean, among other things but one of the main reasons why you’ve had so much success in all the things that you’ve touched. And we are joking about this the other day, all the things you’ve touched have like turned to gold. I mean, you have the touch, man, and it’s really cool. And it’s fun for me to kind of be a fly on the wall and see what’s going on in your world and the impact you’re having and the influence that you have and the following that you have. It’s really cool. But to level up a little bit, you’ve got your professional life and you’ve got things going on. You make an incredible income. You’ve got a great business. You’ve got a great following. You have all these things.

But you said it earlier. It’s about your most cherished relationships. It’s not about the stuff. It’s not about the materials. It’s not about how much money you make. There are so many other things that really what bring fulfillment. You’ll find that anyone who thinks that money is what brings fulfillment, the moment you make more money, you’ll realize that you just want to make more. Whatever it is, you just keep moving the goalposts. And by the way, that’s part of life. You hit a certain level of fitness and you move the goalpost. You hit a level of success and status at work and you move the goalposts. And so, we’re always doing that but what I love is how you show up for – I had the privilege of getting a chance to hang out with your wonderfully lovely and amazing wife, Blair. And I’m so excited for the journey you’re having for this new adventure you’re embarking on with your new baby on the way.

Garrain Jones: This year September, late September.

Justin Donald: Yeah. You just show up so well for your inner circle. And I wanted to honor you in saying that and sharing that with everyone because I can just see how much Blair adores you. It’s a very special relationship that you guys have and I just want to honor you and recognize you for that.

Garrain Jones: Thank you so much. It has taken a lot of work. And we asked for an exceptional marriage and not just a marriage, somebody who just settles and they just accept things for what like we want exceptional marriage but it takes two exceptional people and that takes a lot of work. And the thing about Blair and I is we’re like high producers in anything. We just produce high. So, we produce anger high. We produce like everything is like high. But learning how to harness that energy and then create this wave of team inside of our marriage is marriage is superhero power. And I’m going to speak more into that because there’s the individual Garrain. There’s the individual Blair. And then when we come together and we just coagulate, it forms a third entity called relationship. When relationship is activated and relationship is overflowing, it starts pouring back into the individuals and it starts pouring into the world. You take a cup and you keep pouring into the container, it’s eventually going to spill over into the next container. So, when you pour into the marriage container with team, when you pour into yourself, but with the intention of pouring into the marriage container, when marriage is happy, both parties are going to be rocking like crazy, but that was all intentional for us inside of our relationship and it takes ten times more work than anything that I’ve ever done because she knows all of my sh*t and I know all of her sh*t and we just level each other up.

Justin Donald: I love it. And by the way, we could have an episode just on this like how to have thriving relationships. And I know you’re just great in this category. One thing I will tell you in this whole way of filling each other up in the relationship, the joint union of you and your spouse or me and my spouse or anyone and their spouse, it’s incredible. Like there’s a big difference-maker when you shift from loving someone in the way that you like to be loved, to loving them in the way that you learned that they like to be loved. That’s been a game-changer for me and for my marriage and for so many others that I have shared this story with. You know, I wish we had more time because we could tackle so many more topics.

Garrain Jones: We’ll make more.

Justin Donald: This is a great stopping point I think because we’ve uncovered a lot. And I want to make sure that our audience has a chance to connect with you. So, where can we find you? Where online or where can we figure out what you’re doing in the world?

Garrain Jones: So, definitely my Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life book that’s on Amazon right now, my Instagram Garrain.Jones. My website is in the process of getting a complete makeover right now, but you can still go there and see the old stuff. It’s GarrainJones.com and there is going to be some really cool workshops coming out for relationships, some really powerful things in regards to men’s work, some really powerful things and you’re probably not going to think that you’re going to hear this from a man, some really powerful things in regards to woman’s work. Because I was raised by all women, so I kind of got the cheat codes. The streets taught me how to be the man but I was raised by all women and that’s why there’s 90% of a lot of time women that are in my workshop. So, I have stuff for women, stuff for men in my book. And I’m just excited for all things transformation and to also partner with you and see what we get to create in the world as well.

Justin Donald: Oh, I love it, man. I just feel so blessed to be in relationship with you and to just get to know you and your story and see your gifts in action. I just really want to thank you for spending the time with us here today. And I told you before the call, I mean, the whole reason that I do this podcast is because it fills me up so much. I just love people, love meeting people, love meeting people that I want to meet and get to know and take my relationship with them to a deeper level. And it’s really cool to me that other people can kind of hang out and kind of check out what’s going on but this for me I’ve been looking forward to and I just want to again encourage my audience, anyone who’s watching, anyone who’s listening, take some form of action today towards moving in the direction of financial freedom and a life on your terms by design, not by default, but something that you would be inspired to lead. And it just takes one step each day, just like you heard from Garrain today, even in the most unassuming places, it can happen but it first starts with your mind and making a decision and shifting that mindset. So, thank you again and we’ll catch you next week.

Garrain Jones: Yes. Thank you for having me on.

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