Learn to Negotiate Well and Do It Like a Pro

In both our personal and professional lives, negotiation is an essential skill. We use it to get the things we want, such as a higher salary, a better car deal, or simply a better phone plan.

Negotiations, however, are usually associated with tense arguments and nerve-racking meetings. When someone thinks negotiation is just about getting the best deal, they are operating from a scarcity mindset.

The thing is, a negotiation does not have to be a “win or lose” situation, according to Christine McKay. The goal is not to win, but to build relationships and to learn about each other.

And, Christine would know.

Her company, Venn Negotiation, turns clients into world-class negotiators by turning them into world-class negotiators. Her experience includes negotiating for hundreds of small and medium-sized companies as well as about half of the Fortune 500 companies.

She helps her clients level the playing field in every negotiation setting by leveraging her decades of experience. Furthermore, she has written a book entitled ” Why Not Ask? A Conversation About Getting More”. As a host of the “In the Venn Zone” podcast, she provides listeners with insights and tips on how to negotiate better.

Having said that, let’s talk about how you can learn to negotiate like a pro.

What is Negotiation?

Negotiation is the process of discussing and reaching an agreement between two or more parties. Depending on the situation, it can be formal or informal. It can happen in a business setting or between family members or friends.

The goal of negotiation is to reach a beneficial agreement for all parties involved. Having said that, everyone should feel they have gained something from the process, even if they don’t get everything they want.

“I always say that negotiation is a conversation about a relationship, and you cannot win a relationship, but you can get more value out of them,” adds Christine

Why is Negotiation Important?

In order to resolve conflicts and reach beneficial agreements, we must negotiate. Additionally, it can be used to build relationships and foster trust.

It is also important to have the ability to negotiate for personal success. The more effectively you negotiate, the more likely you are to get what you want in life, whether it’s more money, a better promotion, or a better car deal.

The Basic Elements of a Successful Negotiation

To negotiate successfully, there are a few key elements to consider:

• Preparation. To succeed in any negotiation, you must be prepared. In other words, you should know what you want and what you are willing to give up in order to attain it. You should also determine what your BATNA is (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement).
• Communication. The key to any negotiation is communication. Clarity and conciseness are essential, as is being open to what the other party has to say.
• Listening. It is just as important to listen in a negotiation as it is to speak. To understand the other party’s perspective, it’s important to listen carefully to what they say.
• Empathy. In order to be empathic, one must be able to understand and share the feelings of another. If you want to reach an agreement that’s fair to both parties, you need to have empathy for the other party in a negotiation.
• Flexibility. During negotiations, it’s important to be flexible. To reach an agreement, you must be willing to compromise when things don’t always go according to plan.

Negotiating Like a Pro

It’s one thing to negotiate well. It’s another to do it like a pro. If you want to step up your negotiation skills, consider the following.

Don’t sit at the head of the table.

Would you be better off negotiating if you sat at the head of the table? Not exactly. Christine sits in the seat next to it.

“I have this amazing view of all the participants,” she explains. “I can see everybody. I still have the ability to kind of direct and influence where conversation is going, but most importantly, I have the ability to see everybody.”

Furthermore, she’s also able to see how people respond to different things, which she believes to be very useful in negotiations.

Learn how to read contracts. lis

As a result of Christine’s work with big companies partially through Deloitte, she discovered that smaller businesses and midsized firms were at a huge disadvantage. So, she taught herself how to read contracts.

“I am not an attorney,” she says. “And you know what? The thing is that many small businesses get a contract, and they go, here, they hand it off to their attorney. And I’m like most of what is in that agreement, your attorney doesn’t understand because attorneys are not business people.”

The vast majority of information in contracts is business-related, not legal. As a result, she developed a methodology for how to evaluate contracts, how to assess value, and how to assess risk. In turn, this helped level the playing field for her clients.

Don’t ignore your emotions.

We’ve been told that negotiations are not personal, but just business. Christine disagrees. As emotional creatures, it is personal. “And one of my most hated sayings on the planet is, control your emotions or manage your emotions,” she adds.

It is far more effective to feel, acknowledge, and label your emotions as opposed to trying to control them. Then you can decide what to do with them.

Therefore, acknowledge your feelings and be transparent about them. “I have literally said in negotiation, well, that thing you just said, actually, I’m feeling a little frustrated about that because of these reasons,” Christine states. “Now, I’m not sure that that frustration was your intent, but can we work through that?”

Why’s that important? As Christine says, listening to what someone says and how they react is easier if you’re transparent about your emotions.

Be aware of non-verbal cues.

Most people believe their counterparts are trying to take advantage of them over during negotiations. “So, if you know that, and as a negotiator, I know that everyone that I’m engaging with, I have to assume that they think that I’m there to act not in their best interest,” says Christine. The key to effective negotiation is getting them on your side, so you’re not sitting across the table and you’re bringing them along.

To achieve this, Christine says that it’s all about nonverbals. Listening goes beyond the ears. Whether it’s a specific scent a person wears or a clone, the kind of scent that they wear speaks about them when you’re in person, she says. This is a non-verbal clue to who they are. Clothing also communicates something about a person.

It’s for this reason that Christine dyes her hair funky colors. As a result, expectations about negotiators change and are disrupted.

“And so, reading nonverbal cues and giving space, the value of the language is in the silence in between the notes, the value of music,” Christine suggests. “Listen to the silence between the words that are being said, because that’s where the value, that’s where the richness of the value of that conversation sits.”

Final Words of Advice

Business owners do not live in a binary world. In terms of creative opportunities, it’s so multifaceted that we can create more value for everyone. As a result, we use past information to divine a better future together based on where we are at today, Christine says.

A lot of the reason we enter into agreements with people is because of the hope of what that future relationship will be like. It’s only people you reach agreements with, not companies, she adds. We have a completely different conversation when we talk to individuals rather than countries or entities.